July 4, 2008

Tomorrow is the 4th of July.
The sun will be shining brightly, the birds will be chirping loudly, the breasts will be bouncing harmoniously, and the booze will be flowing freely. While all my peers will be celebrating the independence of this (soon to be) fine country, I will be working for minimum wages and getting verbally assaulted by co-workers, bosses, and milfs all day/night long. I will be slaving in the grueling sun shoveling ice, cutting pineapples and limes, and running up flights of stairs to fetch more alcohol to the money hungry gold digging bitches that occupy the Hyatt Regency Hotel-- all while they "get their drink on" and "catch some rays."
All I want is to lounge in the sun with a drink in one hand and a butt-cheek in the other on this fine holiday, but instead i'll be earning mincemeat and watching everybody else get intoxicated and make the bad decisions that I wish I could be making.